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Once marrying a med-student, I embarked on the wonderful and fantastical journey of working in the healthcare field. The following stories are all true. ALL TRUE, though somewhat embellished here or there.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Test subject

When you're married to a med-student, there are many things that you are obligating yourself to.  Usually this news is sprung on you last minute.  You see, med students are incredibly resourceful.  They are asked to think things out as thoroughly as possible, and often times, they do this in the spur of the moment.  This makes them dangerous people because they will often times catch their significant others unaware.

Sometimes, these obligations that they bear-trap you into happen to be physical examinations.

You're essentially transformed into a squishy, convenient study tool.  Your schedule takes a back seat, your priorities become secondaries, and your life immediately becomes towed by theirs-- at your, the owner's, expense of course.  Med school is a black hole which stops even time.  It's a black hole because once you get close enough, whether you're just dating or are married, you won't escape the gravitational pull that is medical school.  Their schedule becomes your schedule.  Their diet becomes your diet.   Your lives become spaghettified into one perpetually stretched and distorted mass.

What other option do you have other than accept it?  If you're in the same boat as me, you've probably experienced being practiced upon several times.  This is love, isn't it?

My very first experience with her was when she was learning to listen to the different sounds of the heart.  This is where she was measuring heart and breathing rate, listening to hear if there were any murmurs, and practicing to detect if there were any fluid in the lungs.

This was during her first year where she was just learning the finesse of her trade.  The tiny details fascinated her and she worked hard to learn them by reviewing online videos and listening to recordings.

She was so excited about getting her hands dirty that she even started to practice on our pets when I was unavailable due to work.


She practiced on the hamster.  I'm not even kidding.  She practiced on the hamster.  She told me so herself.


Of course she practiced on me.  I was a human subject and, honestly, she would be doing these examinations mostly on humans.  She would practice on me as often as possible, regardless of what I was doing.  I was fine with it mostly.  Sometimes it would be a challenge because she would insist to practice when I was watching TV or cooking.

Then there was this one night when I woke up...





Eventually I chose to just do my best to sleep through these impromptu late-night examinations.  This never slowed down.  In fact, the more she learned, the more excited she was to perform various tests on me.

I can't just say "No."  That's ridiculous.

She knows where I sleep.

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